AbOuT Me
ReAd On
BeRt Is EviL
CoNtAcT Me
My gUeStBoOk

BeRt Is EviL

bert is evil

Collected here are documents and images that show that Bert is Evil. Many of these documents were submitted by anonymous sources who choose not to be revealed. All the files have been verified and cross-referenced with the FBI and other Intelligence Agencies.

The following files may contain graphic information, please proceed with caution

In this photo we borrowed form Ernie's photo album, we see Bert smoking marijuana. He was very active during the 70's and was once seen with famed mass murderer and lunatic Charles Manson. He was even rumored to have been with Manson and his cult during the murder of Sharon Tate.

We caught Bert dragging Ernie out of their apartment in Sesame Street and decided to follow to where they were going. We were shocked to find the two in a Girlie Bar. Bert was forcing Ernie to get lap dances from all the ladies. Poor Ernie went home crying.

This photo taken from the Aliens Dossier of the FBI shows the images of the two most aggressive aliens ever encountered on this planet . The Zeta Reticuli, allegedly responsible for the cattle mutilations, the ebola virus, the bubonic plague and the nuclear age. The Zeta Berticuli, allegedly responsible for infommercials, the deformed frogs of Minnesota and Nonoxynol-9. It is a well supported theory that Bert may be an alien or a muppet/zeta hybrid.

Dear Sir,
Enclosed you will find a couple of snapshots of Bert conspiring with that infamous ex-football player, ex-moviestar, ex-husband and axe-murderer, O.J. Simpson. It's a well-kept secret that Bert was actually part of O.J.'s defense team during the first trial, and was also the only person in whom O.J. fully confided. Interestingly enough, photograph no. 2 was taken exactly ten minutes before the murders took place. (Also, did you know that yellow lint was found at the crime scene? It's true! It was exhibit no. 156a during the first trial). I know I am putting you and myself at risk for giving you all this information, but the truth must not be stopped. What are a few casualties for the good of man and muppetkind? Use this information well, and good luck.

Victor J. Zuylen

For months I tried to hack the F.B.I. crop circle files because an anonymous friend told me about a crop circle in the shape of Bert's head. Yesterday I finally made it in. This picture was taken back in 1948, because crop circles weren't very common tback then, local authorities didn't file it. After a few years the F.B.I. found it in a private collection of a local police officer. He died two months later in a train crash. Why the F.B.I. tried to hide this evidence, I'm not sure. Maybe they already knew about Bert's links with the extra-terrestial.

During the honeymoon of Pamela and Tommy Lee, the couple went off to the desert to film themselves in a torrid orgy with Bert, (an old drug buddy of Tommy).
It was actually Bert who stole the tape and distributed copies of it. Bert edited out the segments that showed him in the video to avoid his incrimination. Tommy and Pamela continue to deny their association with the muppet due to the fear that he might hurt them.